Apr 03, 2022


As Buddha said we all suffer, no one can escape suffering this lifetime. I have suffered and will continue to suffer.

In the past I have laid on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out not knowing how I will carry on, I have suffered loss, heartbreak, financial loss. I have had self-doubt, 3 dark nights of the Souls, at least, and times where I have felt that I am at my limit with no idea how I will keep going. All I could see was darkness.

I have, at times, had to crawl through each day one at a time. I’ve had days in my past where I have stayed in my PJs all day feeling so down with no hope. On all of these occasions, sometimes within a few minutes and sometimes a few days or weeks, an incredible feeling of strength, hope and calm comes over me and I know I can carry on.

I’m not writing this for sympathy, I am writing this to say no one escapes suffering; not even the Dalai Lama, the richest man or the Queen; they all experience suffering in some way.

I’m inspired to write this blog on the way to swim with Nurse Sharks in the Maldives which I know sounds wonderful, which it is, but right now, at this moment, I’m suffering. We have a 2-hour journey on a tiny speedboat with 11 of us on it, the sea is very rough, my husband is feeling seasick, it’s extremely noisy - the 3 people next to us are trying to have a conversation but are shouting - there is a strong smell of petrol, my bottom hurts, we are being bumped about all over the place; I think you get the picture, why on earth have we come on this trip only to end up eaten (oops) I mean to have a lifetime experience of swimming with the sharks?

I was feeling very overwhelmed with it all. Close to either being very angry and telling the people to be quiet or bursting into tears when all of a sudden I had a moment's clarity...

To welcome it all – I became the boat, I became the waves, I became the people on the boat, I became the smell I welcomed it all, it felt like an invisible force had taken over and I sat in bliss – there was no more suffering. I noticed and wished I could have photographed the rainbows that the ocean and sun were making surrounding the boat– the rainbows were so bright and looked like they were going down into the ocean, I noticed the beautiful crests of the waves and the flying fish like birds flying over the waves – beautiful. I felt so grateful to the waves, every now and again splashing me ever so slightly cooling me, I’m in paradise. I pick up my pen, notebook and start writing...

Suffering will always come and go and I can’t say how I will deal with it in the future but I know now, in this moment, that the Universe will always offer a gentle hand, a gentle whisper, a gentle embrace that everything will be ok – all we need to do is listen, reach out and accept, we will be guided... Oh, and the sharks were amazing and we live to tell the tale!

** If you're looking to connect to your intuition and deepen your spirituality join us Sunday 10th April for a  Spiritual Awareness Workshop at the beautiful Hartsfield Manor



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