Just before you read on; this blog includes a discussion about death
I facilitated a Reiki Masters’ workshop last Sunday where we were thinking about where we were heading in life… What we had already achieved, what we wanted for our future, what was in the way and what actions we could take towards it.
Exploring this at the workshop was a positive experience, where all of the ladies shared what they wanted to achieve, and the one action they were going to do towards it.
One of the attendees asked me a couple of days later - what mine was - my goal, what I wanted to achieve, more importantly; where I was heading in life. I couldn’t answer! I had struggled to answer the question myself, until recently.
I wanted to share this with you as I was surprised by my response.
It came to me that I am living my dream right now and that I am praying each day for how the Universe wants to show up through me, I am grateful for all that is and has shown up and I’m enjoying the ride! What more could I ask for?
Nothing was coming up for me apart from a memory. I remember when I was training to be a nursery nurse at 19, we had a discussion about death and I found it really hard to talk about. I got quite upset as I didn’t understand what death was and the thought of it scared me. Since then, like everyone, I have experienced death, the grief it brings and the thoughts of my own mortality that inevitably come to the forefront.
(This is a very sensitive subject I know and for those that have lost loved ones not in the natural order of things we wonder whether there is a God or a plan as it does not seem right or fair and is very painful.)
We are all born and therefore the only certain thing is that we die, our body dies, our mind dies and our energy, our soul goes back into the un-manifested and then maybe we are manifested again, but none of us can be sure of what happens, no one, we can have our thoughts, our opinions but no one knows for sure.
What I do know, however, is that how I define death is up to my mind & my thoughts, programming, my conditioning and my previous experiences of death. A month before my Dad passed I had a wonderful moment with him of unconditional love, everything between us fell away and we were just two souls connecting. It was incredible and a memory I will never forget. When he died I felt sad, my mind just kept wanting to speak to him, and see him until eventually, I accepted that he wasn’t there. We couldn’t be there at his funeral because he lived in Ireland and we were not allowed to travel because of lockdown, so we did a service for him and I cried all that day. After saying my prayers for him I felt that he was around me and have since felt his presence a few times. I know he has gone into the big unknown, he lived, he loved and he is now wherever he is meant to be and I’m at peace with his death.
I know with absolute conviction that it’s what we do now, in this moment in our lives that counts and to live our lives with love and care in our hearts. To simply enjoy being a human being knowing we are a manifestation of love and we have the ability to create the world around us how we want to live it.
I believe the death of a loved one is a cause for celebration. It's a cause for celebrating the gift of life, for living and for the gift of death of this body, that houses our soul energy. It’s a celebration of how they lived their life, how they impacted your life…death is not to be scared of as it’s a natural part of the cycle of life.
Coming back to my answer to the question from the workshop – my answer is to acknowledge that life comes full circle. To face those scary, upsetting feelings I have about death & to make sure I celebrate life right now. The actions I decided to take towards this were to arrange my funeral, to accept that I will die one day and my loved ones will grieve me. I have asked them how they would like my funeral to be, we have discussed it, joked about it, and arranged it. They listened, joked & laughed, and were sad. Facing this subject was difficult in the moment but I feel so much freer now. I can live my life to the fullest while I am still here, accepting and understanding that one day I won't be.
To me, the greatest gift you could give to someone that’s dying is to be with them fully in your presence . Creating a sacred space by just being grounded, in love and reassuring.
Of course this is probably the hardest most emotional subject to consider but for me, unexpectedly, it has been a liberating experience.